Signs You Drink Too Much Coffee

My smart-aleck brother sent these to me:

Do you think you're drinking too much coffee? You just might be if you exhibit any of the following:

• You answer the door before people knock.
• Juan Valdez named a donkey after you.
• You lick the coffeepot clean like one does the icing bowl.
• You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse even though you don't even work there.
• You chew on fingernails - both your own and other people's.
• You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.
• You can jump-start your car without cables.
• Your main source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
• You don't sweat, you percolate.
• You go to AA meetings not because you're an alcoholic, but because they have free coffee.
• You walk ten miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
• You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
• The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.
• You are of the opinion that instant coffee takes way too long.
• Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
• You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
• You don't tan, you roast.
• You can't remember your second cup.
• You help your dog chase its tail.
• When someone asks, "How are you?" you say, "Good to the last drop."

Hmmmm... Maybe you should cut down...