Amusement Park Musing

This is vacation week, and as a dutiful grandfather, I was hustled into taking my grandchildren (aged 10 & 12) to an amusement park. Of course, we all know the etymology of “amuse.” “Muse” means to think or to become absorbed in thought. The alpha privative negates the word and renders it “to be distracted” or “not to think.” The idea of amusement and amusement parks in general, is to provide distraction from the normal routine of life. People do not go to amusement parks to “muse;” to think. However, I could not help but to muse on certain things as I spent the day at the great American pastime of amusementry (I know this is not a word, but if a president can make up words, why can’t I?)

Here are my thoughts, in no particular order:

• Don’t people own mirrors?

• Who came up with the idea of “funnel cakes?” Who would have thought that people would pay $4.49 for deep fried pancake batter? Does the American Heart Association know about this?

• I could be rich if I had figured out how to franchise tattoo and piercing parlors.

• I mean, really, don’t they have access to a mirror?

• Why do people get tattoos on parts of the body that nobody sees – then they show it anyway?

• Why is it that in order to drive to supermarket, my car must be equipped with airbags and antilock brakes; I and my passengers must be securely fastened in DOT approved seat belts; small children must be in approved car seats or booster seats and placed only in the back seat of the automobile – but to ride a coaster that reaches 65 miles an hour and pulls about 2 G’s, you only need to be48 inches tall?

• Do you really need to be texting someone as you plummet down the hill of the “Vomit Comet?” Whatever happened to holding up your hands? OMG!

• Why is it that kids can ride rides that are so intense that they would make Jack Bauer crack, but get car sick on the way home?

• Where do people get those tee shirts?

• Do those kids leave home like that or do they sneak out? Surely, Mom or Dad would never let them out of the house wearing those loosely arranged fragments of material!

• I think it should be a law that people need to own mirrors.